The Law of Attraction in Action

                                       

Very exciting to report!

I have been practicing the Law of Attraction over my finances for only TWO days…yes, TWO days!!!

And already I am seeing its effects.

Today I was given an unexpected $100

Let's keep it going.

I am so happy and grateful now that I am financially stable. That all my bills are PAID IN FULL!

I no longer worry about bills or debt because I am a money magnet and money comes quickly and easily to me.

                                      

J J JJ J JJ J JJ J JJ J JJ J JJ J JJ J JJ J JJ J JJ J J

Dawning! A new awakening!

(This blog is about to become really interesting)

It has been an interesting week of realizations for me;

First: Now I know why I have been at my corporate job all these years

                                         

One of my friends recently decided to follow her heart and her dream. She is leaving the comfort zone of a steady corporate paycheck, to the thrill and excitement of the unknown.

We had lunch recently and chatted over what her dreams and plans for the future were. I encouraged her with all the zeal I had, because I know all too well how very hard it is to leave a comfort zone you have outgrown and start living again. Kudos to my girl!!!

As we talked, she said she was relieved that there was someone who understood her, because many were the naysayers who were telling her to reconsider her decision, and even as I responded with my story, it became clear to me, in that moment, what I have been doing in my corporate comfort zone all these years.

It may well be that I have been here for my friends.

So many people I came to know and become friends with.

So many who were unhappy, dissatisfied and frustrated. Desperate to follow a dream or a better life that called to them.

When they had doubts I told them they COULD. I encouraged them to make the leap. To have faith and jump.

And many of them did.

I am not going to say that it was all my doing, but there is no doubt that I have spent many a moment watering the dreams of a dreamers who were just short of taking that leap. Obviously their ideas and dreams were already there. But if they voiced them to me, I was always the one who jumped up and said YES…DO IT!!!

                                                       

And so, I don’t feel so bad about my twelve years in Corporate America, which were only supposed to be three years. For all the friends I have made, for all the encouragement I was able to give when it was needed, for all the dreams I have been honored to be allowed to help nurture….

those twelve years were worth it.

No more complaints! 

Second: Now I get it…I get the I am that I am

                                   

So I am walking up Amsterdam Avenue to pick up my son from school and I was practicing “one-ness”.

Of every person, every animal, every tree – I said audibly “I am that” And suddenly, right there as I was walking, it hit me. Suddenly, I felt it. It was a very palpable shift within myself. 

The absolute truth of One-ness. That we and everything around us, are all interconnected.

Suddenly, I did not feel “us and them”, I felt I could be in their shoes. I felt love and understanding.

Difference and Dissociation felt from me like scales, and I felt open.

And it felt good.

And this too governs the Law of Attraction. We, and everything we are and want are interconnected.

We are one, and one with The One!

Vibrating at the frequency of that which we desire…makes us that…and brings us that.

Right there, it was so simple and so clear. I started to cry.

“I get it” I said looking to the heavens “I finally get it!”

And now my life truly can change.

I have been reading self improvement books since I was 16, desperately depressed and feeling like a loser. My first book was I CAN by Ben Sweetland. It made all the change in my heart. But since then, I have read hundreds of other books, have attended trainings, listened to recordings, watched films and videos. I gave my life to Christ, joined groups, ministries and have been in and out of therapy for some years now, but I still found myself depressed and lost and still feeling like a loser.

I have heard and read about the law of attraction, and have tried to put in action in my life, but….well first of all…it is ALREADY in action in my life….bringing to pass all the reality that comes from believing that I am a loser…and secondly, how I would ‘try’ to work the law of attraction, is that I would change what I was SAYING, after all there is power in the tongue, BUT, I did not change what I was FOCUSING on and how I was FEELING. (Wrong Vibrations, Wrong Frequency) So, need I tell you?...Nothing changed!

No matter how many times I learned that I am a child of God, that I am in the image of God, that God is within me and I can do all things.

No matter how many times I affirmed these. Shouted them out loud. Declared them on the roof tops. No matter! For still…I FELT….and thus manifested….failure.

                                    

But now…it has clicked, really CLICKED!!! So now, Change MUST come!

Which brings me to…

Third: It all starts with a decision

                                               

And it starts with a Decision. A decision on what I want my life to look like. A decision to practice the law.

So here’s my first decision – To lose weight.

Since the last time I mentioned my weight in this blog, I have gained at least 10lbs more.

This stops now!

Right here and now, I DECIDE to lose 12lbs by the end of the year.

That’s one pound a week…a healthy way to lose and recommended by Weight Watchers.

Now you may say, that is not something that will really evidence the law of attraction, because it is just a matter of habits.

Not True!

We are talking about a change in the way my mind works.

Remember, I have been “trying” to lose weight for some time now. I have exercised, I have dieted, I have journaled and all that good stuff. Great actions to take, but if you are not succeeding in your mind….you cannot succeed in your body.

My efforts were doomed from the start…because I was “trying” to lose weight.

In the famous words of Yoda from Star Wars: “don’t try, DO!”

                                       

That’s the point!

I never once succeeded in my mind. So ‘failure’ had to follow…that’s the law…I stopped exercising, I started eating poorly again, I did not journal and I accepted defeat. “I just can’t!”

If I make a mind shift and focus NOT on my state right now, but on the state that I want to be…it will have to happen. I will attract the support that I need, I will attract the energy, wisdom and knowledge that I need, and my body will begin to follow my mind and desire to do what it needs to fulfill that image in my mind.

SO…here we go! The change starts now!

                          

New York, New York!! The Dream is Dead…or is it?

The other day I had to go to my bank which is located in Times Square. 

Times Square, NYC

I left work early, took the subway across town and came out on Broadway at 41^st. It was the first really warm day we had this Spring so it felt really good being outside. I strolled leisurely, taking in all the sights, the tourists, the lights, the food carts, stores opening and closing, the police, TKTS, the traffic, the construction. 

The former Paramount Theatre - Now the Hard Rock Cafe

I even stopped in front of ABC studios to get the latest news headlines from the scrolling news feed and then proceeded on to take care of business.

At the bank, as often happens, I overheard two actresses talking about work, agents, theatre and such. As I waited to be attended to, I watched and listened to one of them and I began to feel the stirring emotions inside me. She looked every bit like the stereo typical actor – young, full of hopes and dreams, smooth untainted skin, hair accentuated with a weave to produce a wild seductive mane. Large sunglasses propped on the top of it to keep it from falling into her face. And a voice that, in very sing song high pitched words said “I want to do television so bad”

I looked down at my hands as I fiddled with my thumbs the way my grandmother used to do, and I identified the feeling that was welling up inside me.

I was sad. 

I used to be that girl. I too wanted to be in television. One acting coach told me if that if I wanted television, I needed to be in L.A. But I loved New York and I loved theatre, so it did not matter what she said. I was going to make it here. 

Make it? 

If that’s what you call it. I am sitting here…not an actress, but an administrative assistant. And I am sitting here, because I lost my check book and so cannot pay school fees for one of my sons. A fee that once paid, will leave me yearning for my next pay check. 

I am not wearing a mane of hair, have no sun glasses and am wearing Crocs boots that have seen me through 4 winters. 

No, this was not my idea of coming to NY and making it.

Done at the bank, I had some time to spare before picking my son up from school. So I figured I’d take my time heading back to the subway and be a tourist for a while. Back on the street level, I ventured into the Times Square Museum and Visitor Center. 

At the entrance, you are greeted with a display of the actual costumes of some of Broadways memorable characters out of Andrew Lloyd Webber musicals. I guess it would be important to mention here that he is one of my favorite contemporary composers. And if I got to play one of his pieces, I would love to play Norma Desmond from Sunset Boulevard. I have been playing her since I first heard the cast recording by Glenn Close and then as a brand new New Yorker, I got to see Elaine Paige play her on Broadway…Elaine Paige, whom I have loved since I was a young teenager... another dream had come true….but the ultimate dream would be to play that part…not at home, not in voice class, not in the shower or the car, but on stage.

Costumes from Sunset Boulevard, Joseph's Technicolor Dream Coat and Jesus Christ Superstar 

"Grizabella" the Glamour Cat from Cats

Eva Peron at the Casa Rosada in Evita

 

"Norma Desmond" from Sunset Boulevard

Anyway, back to the Visitor Center! There, you can see the actual New Year’s Eve Ball from 2007 which simulates the countdown in intervals, there is a “New Year's Eve Wishing Wall" which has thousands of post it notes of wishes people have made at new year’s or for the new year. 

  

The New Year's Eve Wishing Wall - You can still add your hopes and dreams for next year!

There are actual peepshow booths that made Times Square notorious back in the day.

You can go in and watch a show...although it's not x-rated

The original Peep Machine

And there is a film news reel showing the history of Times Square which you can sit and watch. And there are friendly people who answer any question you may have about what to see and do in New York.

It was a wonderful feeling being in there. It made me feel like I felt when I first arrived in New York some 17 years ago. I had fallen in love with New York long before that, but actually getting here and actually walking the streets of New York was a most amazing dream come true to me. 

I was in awe of everything. 

It was exactly as I had imagined it, exactly what I wanted and exactly where I wanted to be. When my father heard of my decision not to return home to Nigeria, he said I had been blinded by the bright lights of this city. He was right! But what he didn't know is that being here was just the inevitable manifestation of my childhood fantasy which he himself actually helped create when he brought me a book about NY from one of his frequent business trips to the States.

I walked back to the subway, hurting and exhilarated at the same time. 

I still love New York,

I still feel the dream. 

But when I look at my life I don’t see the dream…is it gone? 

Is the dream dead? 

Or can it live again?

I am here in the city that I love, but I am not thriving. 

This was not the dream.

Can I actually experience New York the way I really wanted to all those years ago? A young girl in love with movies singing along with Liza Minnelli….

Get Clear to Get Clear

I am still working on clearly stating my goals...um...and it's February 22.

One thing I CAN say, is that being serious about writing down my goals - a first time for me -  revealed one very necessary goal to me: the need to de-clutter! Not just my desktop, my closet, my room, but my life!!

It's funny, but just as I came to that realization, I looked up and saw the current edition of the Oprah Magazine in a store and lo and behold the front page title -

"De-clutter Your Life" 

How apt! and how about that for synchronicity?!

Now, don't get me wrong; It's not that I am hoarder or even that I am generally disorganized. It's just that life was taking over. I was so busy all the time, that I did not always make the little extra effort of putting things exactly where they belong. I would put them somewhere that made sense. Even somewhere that I would find them. But it just wasn't EXACTLY where they belong. Slowly, with time, I noticed that I had several places having the same things in them and this over time does start to interfere with finding things. You will know where they are, but it could be one of several places. I had to get back to basics and specifics. 

And so I have begun to de-clutter! 

Out with the excess, the non-essentials, and the things are really do not need to be here.
In with a new organizing system, some labels and some storage bins and shelving. We are going to make sense of this mess yet.

And the first really necessary thing was my desktop on my laptop. I swear it looked like this...

Whenever anyone saw it, they would gasp in shock because I had so many icons, files and folders on there, it filled the entire screen and actually went beyond it. It had become hard to find folders or files when I needed them because there was always the chance that they were some where beyond the screen. And the worst thing is...this was my work laptop, not my personal home laptop. I used to bring my laptop home everyday because I worked from home often and so it was inevitable that I used my work laptop for most of my personal things too. I had many personal files on there. It was definitely time to clean that up. Time to separate my work from my personal. I am relieved that is done. My desktop is clean, and all my personal files and folders have been moved to a portable hard drive which I keep in my bag so that I still have access to these files at a moments notice should I need them during the regular work day.

Now I have started with our shelves at home and the basement. I want to be done before my LLC registration papers arrive because that's when my real work will begin and I want to be all de-cluttered, clear and organized when that happens.

Well, as usual…once I am faced with a difficult question…I disappear for a while. How am I ever going to have a flourishing blog that is interesting to read and worth following if I keep falling off the face of the earth like I do??? It doesn’t work that way Sunny!!!

So what sent me running this time? The question: what are my goals. Are you kidding me? If that question has me running for the hills…then where on earth do I think I will end up? And HOW?

Ok Sunny…this is no way to go! It IS time to pull yourself together, to take responsibility for your life, to become an adult….to do this right!!!

We are not promised tomorrow..there is precious little time...don't you want to have time left to actually enjoy a life you could build by being disciplined for a change???

Get it together, girl!!!  

Week in Review - February 3, 2013

Nothing incapacitates me quite like a sinus headache!

(Got this really accurate image of how I feel from Eric Spitler's Art Blog)

If I don’t catch a sinus headache in time, it can linger for at least three days. Ugh!!! :-(

Before I was put on Blood Pressure Medication, I used to get migraines which would incapacitate me regularly, but the medication took care of that but since it seems my head still wants to hurt sometimes, it took up sinus headaches instead.

I find these to be worse, because my migraines always responded to medication…sinus headaches don’t! So I have been positively useless since Friday.

Nonetheless, January, the first month of 2013 is already over, so I figure I should review the week to see how I am doing with the goals I have set to accomplish for this year. So here goes:

The week in review:

Fitness – Well, on a positive note, I downloaded MyFitnessPal and the Walkroid Pedometer, to track my food, exercise and movement. But on a negative note; I only tracked my food for two complete days. The other days, I either stopped tracking early because I was disgusted at myself or I just gave up knowing that I was going to go over the allotted calorie limit for the day anyway. Sigh!

As for the pedometer, the problem with the fact that it is on my smart phone is that I have to have my phone on me at all times to get an accurate report…and…I don’t! I mean who has their smart phone clipped to them at home? So I’ll have to figure something else out there. The Fact of the matter is that I just need to start really working out. And not just depending on all the walking I do during the day to make up for it. So there’s something I need to work on as far as my fitness goals go.

Blog – Happy to say, I have kept with it this week. My goal for next week is to link this blog to a twitter account and start tweeting too. That way I will be able to say little things more often than having to wait till I can make the time to actually sit and write.

I have also downloaded Blogger on my Droid so I can post blogs on the go…but there is the slight problem that I cannot access the internet when I am on the underground…so...!

My Novel – Happy to report that I have started on my next chapter. Read in the writers group. Got positive feedback.

My Business – Nothing on this front this week. Still waiting for my LLC registration to come through.

Therapy – Had a major breakthrough connecting with my inner self. This is Major for me!!! More on that another time J

Summary – Realization! I still have not accurately identified my goals for this week, this month, this year! So writing a review is very vague and general. So here’s a big goal for the upcoming week – Clearly identify where I am going. Start with one thing if that’s all I can articulate, but I do have to have a clearer plan.

Having said all that…it’s time for me to do two things…

The Laundry…

and then The Super Bowl (which I watch more for the commercials and the shows than the game itself – Sorry!)

So ENJOY THE GAME!!  And I’ll be back tomorrow

Cheers!

Weightloss Apps - On my way

Yes indeed, I am on my way....but as always, it's a rocky start.

Last night I downloaded two really cool FREE apps on my Android to help me with my weight loss goal.

MyFitnessPal is awesome for food/calorie tracking.

Gee, I have not done so since I dropped out of WeightWatchers a couple of years ago. I would love to get back on WeightWatchers too, but I am at a financial low right now.
So today was my first day of tracking on MyFitnessPal and I stopped half way through the day.

This is exactly the reason why you are encouraged to track your food....because you just have no idea how much you are eating all day...and how much crap you are eating all day, when you do not journal.

After a mid morning snack I already had only 700 calories left to eat for the day!!!

I made impressively healthy choices at lunch, having only fresh veggies and broiled salmon and WATER...not soda or tea.

But then on the way home I snacked on a Nature's Valley Granola bar and when I got home, I had an early fried chicken 'dinner'. Problem is, I also had a German gingerbread cookie, a glass of lemonade (watered down) and when preparing the plates for the kids, I munched on every little piece of chicken that did not make it to the plate and sucked all the bones clean. Sigh! Please tell me I am not the only mom that does that.

So there is absolutely NO need to track all that I ate...I already know I went WAY over.
This is good....because tomorrow will be better.

The second really cool FREE app is the Walkroid!

Don't you just love the cute little logo???!!!

This was one of the things I really liked over the IPhone...the Droid logo

Okay, I know that sounds really corny, but it's true and I really love the "Walkroid"

This is a Pedometer App which tracks your all day walking. And it would appear that I walk approximately 5511steps a day, equivalent to 2.7 miles.

That's not nearly enough movement to lose any weight. But this is great., because just as the food tracker shocks me into seeing how MUCH my intake is, this step tracker shocks me into seeing how LITTLE my output is. So it is clear to see that some balance is needed.

Hey, I've got the Apps...I've got the Attitude..and I've got 37.5 lbs to lose...I am on my way!!!

First weigh in of 2013

Ok folks. So as promised, I went to the gym, stripped down to the basics and weighed myself. The result...167.5 lbs (hey, it's less than 170lbs)

So that's the starting weight..the "before"

and now it's time to start working towards the "After"

Hey a girl can dream can't she?

or at least have something to aspire to :-)

Ring in the new - It's my Birthday!!!

I love having my birthday at the beginning of the year because all my intentions for the coming year coincide with my new life year. And I think that no year will make this more evident than this year. Because my overall intention for this year is to make that drastic change…to take my life back…to take my power back.

As I was just saying to my husband, we are pretty much at rock bottom now, so there really is only one way to go...UP!

Many things already began in the previous year, taking me in that direction, so all I need do is remain consistent and follow the direction.

Shortly after returning from my sister’s funeral in Nigeria early last year, I made up my mind to stop straightening my hair. I had not yet been officially diagnosed with Psoriasis, but it was definitely already there. My scalp was constantly sore and flaky and whenever I got my perm retouched my scalp got badly burned and the burns were getting worse and taking longer to heal with every perm. It had to end and I did not retouch my hair and am glad to say that I am now one year and two months natural.

It is much easier than I thought it would be. I just blow dry after washing and then flat iron it to style it. My scalp is being treated for the Psoriasis. It is still dry, but no longer sore and I no longer torture it with harmful chemicals.

As I had mentioned before, I was reassigned to another team at work. At first, I felt really hurt and upset, but as time goes on, I can see that this is the best thing for me. My work had been taking a toll on me. And I did not know how to stop it. I took on more and more and was truly on the verge of breaking down physically and mentally.

With my new position, I am not allowed to take work home unless a specific project warrants it. After 4:30pm, my time is mine. After two years of non-stop working, this is a whole new world for me. It’s been three weeks and I barely know what to do with myself. I wake up on weekend mornings and ponder “what should I do now?”

This is great for me, because not only am I already feeling more relaxed, but I can actually start doing things for me again. I will work out again, I will read again and look-a-here…I am writing again J

So for starters, here are a couple of goals I have set for myself for this New Year:

1)  Take control of my eating and working out habits again. Aim to reach some ideal weight by the end of the year. Tomorrow I shall weigh myself for my accurate “before” and then we shall go from there. Will report in tomorrow.

2)  Finish writing the novel I started last year. In the middle of the year, it got so busy, I could not keep up. I could not find nor create any time to even think of what to write talk less of actually writing it.

I think these are two great goals to start out with, so I will leave it at that for now. There are more in store, but I will add them and explain them fully as I write on.

In the meantime, it’s been an awesome birthday for me today. My kids made me the cutest cards and stuck them up on the wall by the front door so that I would see them as soon as I walked in when I came home from the movie my husband treated me to. Which, by the way, was an awesome piece of work.

 “Silver Linings Playbook” – Totally Worth Seeing!!! I am loving Bradley Cooper right now. But not just him, it was an amazing ensemble. And Jennifer Lawrence just won the SAG award for her part in this film tonight.

Do you suppose it is just a coincidence that the SAGs were on my birthday this year? 

Or is it a sign? J

Ring out the old

2012 was eventful if nothing else.

It began with anger and dissatisfaction. I had just celebrated my 10^th year anniversary on my corporate job but felt underappreciated and used. I was in such despair because yet another year had come and gone without me coming any closer to finding my destiny talk less of fulfilling it. I'd spent yet another year working for nothing but a paycheck. I had done no writing, my blog was dormant, no acting, no reading, no exercise, nothing that had to do with me.

Then in February, Whitney Houston died very unexpectedly the night before the Grammys and the following week as I watched her beautiful and celebrity studded funeral, I got the call that my younger sister had lost her battle with breast cancer. Her first diagnosis had been when she was only 26, and she had been in remission for 10 good years, but unbeknownst to us, her immediate family, the cancer had returned earlier in the previous year and as is so often the case, it came back with a vengeance and with very little mercy. We do not know enough about her treatment to know how well it was handled, but to all intents and purposes, it appeared that when treatment was given, it was too late. Within one year, this active beautiful strong young woman of 36 was gone.

I traveled to Nigeria for the funeral and was in for a very rude awakening. As most funerals do, this one too had more than its fair share of drama. But the fact that it was directed against us, her closest family, made the whole thing hurtful and very surreal. If anyone had told me the story of what happened when I was in Nigeria, I would have thought they were making it up. But I actually experienced it....I was in it....it was real!..and no doubt good fodder for a book or play that I shall write one day.

In the Spring, I decided to start yet another new business. My poor husband is so tired of hearing of all the things I keep trying. If only I would stick with one and actually make it work, he says. This time, I started an Ebay store and an online web store. I was hoping that I could run these with very little time commitment, since time was something I absolutely did not have. But it was silly of me to even think that. There is NOTHING that can be done to even the least level of success, without TIME investment. Yes, I sold a few items, but a $10 profit for the whole year is hardly a business worth bragging about.

Then the year picked up with work, work and more work. My day job literally became my night job and my weekend job. Until in the summer, I literally had a meltdown. I had to call the Colleague Assistance Program. I was hoping for some time off, but instead I was advised to resume my therapy sessions to help me cope. High stress and too little rest was made evident as my blood pressure rose, and I developed Psoriasis on my scalp and on my thigh.

The summer was marked by two weddings, my good friends who were going to have to get married in Connecticut, were able to marry right here in Brooklyn against a beautiful sunset over the Manhattan skyline.

...and then my little sister's wedding in San Antonio,Texas at which I was the Mistress of Ceremonies. This was my first time in Texas and though the wedding went very well and was beautiful, it too was not without its own little hitches.

At work, a two year re-organization finally came to an end in the fall, with me being informed that I had been re-assigned. For the rest of the year I had to straddle two departments as I closed out accounts and worked through the hand over and began my new responsibilities. By the time the year ended, I was about ready to drop.

Then there was super storm Sandy, leaving a trail of disaster in its wake. Even though I was not personally hit, it was a blow to everyone living in the tristate area.

                                               

And as we saw image after image of devastation, it was a welcome sight to see a true miracle on our own block. Kenilworth Baptist Church had a HUGE oak tree fall right on top of it. But the little church sustained only minor cracks in the roof gutters. The impact of the tree hitting the building broke, not the church, but the tree!!! That was a true miracle!

Christmas was only Christmas because the children made it so.

Had I not had to make it fun for them, I would have been happy enough to just take my days off laying down and sleeping into the new year. It must have been the least Christmassy Christmas I have ever experienced. There was no real holiday cheer in my heart and before I could even find it, the holiday was over.

It was a rough year, but over all not a bad one. I can count numerous blessings too.

I am grateful to have had this year and I am grateful it is over.

I am ready, so ready for a new year and a new beginning to many areas of my life.

Starting with WRITING THIS BLOG!!!

Happy New Year!

Welcome 2013

Now let's get started doing something.....