Time, Love and Tenderness

A hit song by Michael Bolton brings home some truths at a time of hurt and disappointment.

Something happened to me yesterday that caused me to feel hurt. And I feel disappointment, more at myself for allowing myself to feel hurt, than at the person for hurting me.

I know for sure that the hurt was not done intentionally, so I can not fault the person. But I have the choice of how to react. And it hurts that I feel hurt. I would love to just be able to say “Hey, all is as it should be and it is well”

I do say that, and deep inside my spirit self I feel and believe that, but my ego self, and my physical self finds it hard not the feel the hurt.

So here’s what I am learning:

First of all, do NOT try to resist the feeling. Don’t try to talk yourself out of feeling hurt. And don’t try to mask it. For one thing, it doesn't work! For another, the more you resist it, the more you will feel it and the worse it gets. Deeper and more painful each time you try to resist it.

So don’t resist. Feel it! Welcome the feeling. Embrace it with LOVE.

Yes, I see that hurt. I feel that hurt. I am willing to feel that hurt, I understand why I feel that hurt. I embrace that understanding and that hurt with love. And I embrace myself with love. Hug myself as I would hug a hurting child, and comfort myself.

Secondly, repeat! Again and again, as long as it takes, every time the hurt arises again…and it will! It takes TIME to “get over it”, whatever ‘it’ is.

Thirdly, be gentle with yourself. Don’t be hard on yourself for finding yourself in this situation. You did not choose it even if on some unconscious level you may have attracted the situation to yourself. But still…don’t be hard on yourself, be gentle, be kind, be TENDER.

So Michael Bolton is not wrong. 

But the better news is that you needn't look for these things in someone else. Find them in yourself. That is where the true healing will take place. Give yourself the Time, Love and Tenderness you need.

If you seek it from someone else…sooner or later, you will be back at square one…hurt, disappointed, and alone.

But if you find love in yourself…it will NEVER happen again, because even if you do get let down again…and you will….you will be left with the one person who will never leave you nor forsake you…YOU! So love YOU!