Happy New Year Folks!!!!
Another chance to get it right!
2013 was a true year of learning and enlightenment for me. I experienced so much spiritual growth.
So 2014 for me will be the year of manifestation, completion. The year
that I put everything I have learned into practice and turn my life around
COMPLETELY!
It all began a year ago in January 2013, when I was taking a
workshop on Feminine Power from Evolving Wisdom. This was the first time I was
able to actually connect with my inner child. This was the first wall that
broke down. I was able to speak to my me-child and tell her that I loved her
and cared for her.
I have always thought this type of thing was hog wash, but
now that I have actually experienced it, I know that it is true...
I was up early and was saying my prayers as I glanced over
and saw my six year old son fast and peacefully asleep. He looked so innocent.
Suddenly I saw myself at that age. That was when my mother and I moved from
Germany to go and live with my father in Nigeria. That was the turning point in
my young life.
They say Rome was not built in a day. And the emotional
walls we build are not built in a day either…but that was when the foundation
for my walls were laid.
Over the years that followed, I built taller and thicker
walls by the year. And by the time I was an adult living on my own in New York,
I was numb.
Safe from every kind of feeling that would make me vulnerable….but
NUMB.
It has taken me almost 20 years to be able to open up and
find some emotional freedom and peace.
That experience of meeting little Susie put a crack in the
wall that allowed some sliver of Divine Love Light to shine through. Slowly
over the next months, I psychically and spiritually clawed at the wall to make
the crack bigger and let in more light.
Not that I was not scared…I was….I was scared of what I
might find, scared of what I might feel, and scared of who I might be as a real
person with feelings…this was just not someone that I knew. But something
inside me knew that I had to keep working at it…I wanted the light….I felt it’s
warmth…I had to break through.
I did more workshops, read more books, watched videos,
listened to inspirational audios, continued my therapy, meditated when I could,
read the bible, prayed…and then in October the walls that I had worked so hard
to build came crashing down like the walls of Jericho… all at once.
Suddenly, out of no where, I experienced the Divine. I
experienced one-ness. I felt LOVE!
Tearfully, I rejoiced….I knew the walls were gone and the
pain could stop. I would be able to live free to love and be loved…without
fear…I knew what it meant to say that perfect love casts out fear. My fear was
cast out…I was ready to live and love. I thought this was the end of learning,
but no…
…just then…to accelerate my learning, my relationship with
my partner took a DRASTIC turn. Something I had always thought I expected,
actually happened…..and I was floored. Weird, isn’t it, how you can be
surprised by something you already thought existed?
But in spite of disenchantment, the most amazing things
happened: our relationship became super-recharged, AND my love and my Spirit
were taken to the next level as I was learning two very important lessons –
Living in the moment, and loving unconditionally. Just BE!!!
By the time the year ended…I was a whole new person. I was
born again.
Not confessing Jesus as my Lord and Savior…I had done that
in October 1989. What I experienced in 2013 is Spiritual Re-Birth….my total
existence, my total self-ness became new. It is of God…not removed from Him,
but a part of Him, His breath in me…in Divine Complete Unconditional Love.
So 2013 was the foundation….now 2014…I am building a new
building…one founded on divine love and BEing…not on pain and protection. I am
not building walls…I am building a love life.
I AM and I am abiding in the Vine….with the I AM.
My Life is Changed!!! :-)
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