My Life After Oprah

Passion is not frosting!

2011-07-13T19:28:00.000-07:00

A fantastic post on Sally Hoghead's site. A very fun site I might add.

"Passion isn’t the frosting on top of your career. It’s the whole damn cupcake!!!"

Enjoy this post: http://sallyhogshead.com/passion-is-not-frosting/3600/

Weight Watchers...I am tempted!

2011-07-12T20:50:00.000-07:00

Hi all,
A friend sent me this inspiring story from Weight Watchers. I do believe WW is awesome, having tried it before. It truly teaches you how to live a healthier and better life. It is so much more than a diet. It's a life style.
Of course, I dropped out after consistently missing meetings...can some one say "COMMITMENT!!!"

Well, every now and then, I hear stories like this that totally tempt me to make that commitment again...and um...this time STICK TO IT!!!

Best part of this story is what she says at the end. She did not "join" WW. She "became" WW.
I love that!!! That is COMMITMENT!!!

Gee I still have SO FAR to go in that area....Sigh!!!

enjoy the article...

http://community.weightwatchers.com/Blogs/ViewPost.aspx?threadID=1417824

Impatience and High Blood Pressure - Blue Heron Health News

2011-07-10T19:59:00.000-07:00

I think I may have mentioned before that last year I was diagnosed with borderline high blood pressure.

I was placed on medication and given dietary and life-style advice.

My blood pressure has been well maintained since then....mainly due to the medication, because, as you know, I am still very much working on the diet and life style.

But here's a thing....I believe that my corporate job environment is at least 80% responsible for my high blood pressure. The stress and pressure of work is extremely unhealthy. Even in an Administrative Assistant position, which HR and the powers-that-be think is the easiest most light weight job in the company....NOT!!!

There is always someone needing something YESTERDAY and expecting to get it then, you are always required to perform magic and make miracles happen, and if you are any less than your stellar self...it is a real problem.

Not to mention lay offs and outsourcing such that, like everywhere else in corporate America these days, you are left doing the work of 3 people.

Yup...sounds like a precursor to high blood pressure to me.

Anyway, there is much evidence I am sure linking stress to high blood pressure. But it is interesting to note that impatience can lead to this. Our world has become one of instant gratification in just about every area (i.e. wanting things yesterday)...and there is no doubt that this is making us extremely impatient(now! now!! I want it NOW!!!)....and extremely stressed (Aaaaaargh!!!).....and hello...blood pressure spike!!!

I was very amused by this article from a blog I subscribe to and I thought you might not just enjoy it, but really think about it, check yourself and see if maybe you don't need to slow things down a bit too.

Enjoy the read...

http://blueheronhealthnews.com/blog/2011/07/08/impatience-and-high-blood-pressure/

Hey, tomorrow is Monday. Have a great week! :-)

Peace and Love

Great Quote from a Lululemon Athletica bag

2011-06-28T19:47:00.000-07:00

"The world is changing at such a rapid pace, if you wait to implement changes, you will always be 2 steps behind. Do it now. Do it now. Do it now."

enough said!

love and peace

http://www.lululemon.com/

Last Week of School!!! Teachers, go home and relax!!!

2011-06-27T22:22:00.000-07:00

Think you have it hard with your corporate job and it’s grown up problems? Try keeping a bunch of toddlers and tykes in check ALL DAY!!!

You have got to give it up for Teachers!!!

Even the best behaved child is a handful; now imagine 12 to 24 more of that, every single day!!!

It takes a real gift to be a teacher.

Every time I find myself in my son’s school environment I am reminded of this fact.

Coming from a medical background, I know many people who just got into the medical field for the prestige of the title or for the bank account that may come with it.

But teaching…that is something you need to WANT to do. You need to have a passion for these kids no matter how many tantrums they throw. You need to not only be willing to teach, but be able to make them understand you…that is to say…speak their language. You need to remain creative and open minded to be able to see through the eyes of a curious 5 year old and make complex uninteresting learning, fun! You need to be up always, no down days for you…You can’t come into the office with an attitude or make excuses about PMS, a headache or a lack of sleep. You need to care…sincerely and truly, about the welfare of children you did not bring into the world.

Teachers are amazing!!!

And if you feel you have the gift for it....I encourage you to listen ot your inner voice and go teach! We need you! Our children need you! The future needs you!

Special thanks to my partner, C.C. for finding and formatting this 80's public service announcement for me

And now it’s the end of another school year.

Please make an effort to thank the teachers who are helping you raise your kids.

A school donation is always nice, but you could make it more personal with a gift, a card, a bouquet of flowers, chocolates, a gift card maybe.

If you are strapped for cash, get busy with your kids, have them make something nice and pop in a note from you. Teachers may be moved to tears when their students present them with pretty homemade gifts, but I can guarantee that they welcome the appreciation from us, the parents who dump our kids on them for 8 hours and run off to work with grown-ups all day. In fact, I can confirm it: today, I gave my son’s teacher a gift basket and a thank you card. She hugged me and said “it feels so good to know that parents know” “Oh, I KNOW!!!” I said, “cos I would surely be in jail by now if I were watching kids.” We laughed.

Teachers deserve our thanks!

Let’s give honor where honor is due!

Teachers, here’s to you!!!

Applause Applause

Good teachers...and parents...give our kids the Greatest Love of All

...and to the Earth

2011-06-25T14:07:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I dedicated a Michael Jackson song to humanity, today I dedicate the song to the Earth....the glorious planet on which we live, and which we sorely disrespect everyday...

but we can make a difference if only we choose to do so....

Today, the second anniversary of Michael Jackson's passing, here's another powerful one...

The Earth Song

Finding Sarah

2011-06-24T19:49:00.000-07:00

I was just watching "Finding Sarah"on OWN.
I should be doing a show like that called Finding Susan, cos God knows I haven't found her yet!
Anyway, I think I like that show.

So today is day one of week 4 or is it already week 5 of our fitness challenge.
I did NOT do good this week, I worked out only twice and only one of those times was an 'official' workout.
I did NOT drink enough water. I did NOT blog every day.

Boohoo!!! Shame!!!

Okay...it's a new week of Challenge. Let's get up and go and make it happen this week.
Will call 4everFab for this week's challenge.

In the meantime,just another sign that time waits for no one and never stands still.....it is already TWO whole years since one of the greatest entertainers of all time passed on.
The genius and extremely talented Michael Jackson died two years ago tomorrow.
It's one of those events where everyone remembers exactly where they were that day and how they heard the news.
I remember that I was...where else?...at work, when I got, first a text/email from a friend, then I checked the internet, then I got a phone call and all of a sudden it was everywhere, everyone was talking about it, every radio station was playing his music. It was not a prank. This time it was real. The King of Pop, that he undeniably was, was gone.

And life goes on. But it is interesting, that every time you do hear a song of his, it hits you again - He is really gone. There will never be another song. Another video.

I admit I was a fan. I got to see him live on September 10th, 2001, that was the night before the terror attacks of 9/11.

It was the Michael Jackson 30th Anniversary Celebration at Madison Square Garden.

I was as intrigued by the audience as I was by the King himself, because looking at the audience showed what an impact this man had on music and on the world.
There was every age in the house, every gender, every color, every language, every culture.
We all looked at each other in excitement, knowing we all felt the same no matter who we were or where we came from. Then, when he came on stage and sang we all screamed the same, waved and clapped our hands to the beat the same, danced like crazy the same and sang along to every single word the same.
For those brief moments we were - the same!!

I marveled at how music could cross bridges in a way that other means could not. In my idealistic self, I felt sure that somewhere in the future there really was the hope of a world with no discrimination, no hate, no wars.....
...and then the next morning....the unthinkable.

Today I heard this song on the radio played in tribute to him, and I'd like to play it here as a reminder to us all that a world free of hate, suffering and war IS possible, but it starts with each of us....
remember to listen to the lyrics...

How do I suck?...let me count the ways...

2011-06-22T19:53:00.000-07:00

...NOT!

Meaning that is NOT the right thing to say to myself!
I must remain positive and encouraging, remember?

Yes, but all I can think of right now is....I suck!

Did I even mention what our challenge for this week was? er..NO cos I have hardly even blogged this week.

4everFab and I decided to go back to basics. Maybe we were incorporating too much too fast. So here was the challenge this week (ends tomorrow)

7 days of working out - anything
6 glasses of water daily
7 blog posts

now let me see...how have I fared??? well needless to say, if it was a school test paper it would be scribbled over with RED and a big fat F!!!

BUT!!!!!....I shall remain positive, for instead of telling myself that I just can't do it and so just stop, I shall just pick myself up and continue where I left off.

I wake up every morning with good intentions and go to sleep every night with guilt.

BUT!!!...yes, I shall continue. It is hard to be honest and to tell you and especially my work out partner, who is probably jogging round the park right now, that I have not kept to the challenge. I could easily say, and who would know any different: "Hey I ran a mile or was it more? I benched 100lbs, wow! and I drank a whole bunch of water and the only reason I have not blogged is cos I was either in the bathroom letting go of all the water I drank or I was at the gym of course, where else would I be?"
But I guess that would help noone...cos I'd still be looking pregnant and probably feeling even more guilty.
So here I am...honest.

BUT!!!!...honesty alone is not going to get me there either! I have to do the work...there is no escape. If I want a certain result, I must do what I must to reach it...and besides...have we forgotten about the dreaded C word??? I made a COMMITTMENT!!!!

OK...So I don't suck...well, maybe just a bit...well, yeah I do...Susan, Get your butt up and go work out!!!!

End of Story!!!

Yay!! I did a blog post today...on the right track here. :-)

A throw back to the 80's....

2011-06-20T20:15:00.000-07:00

...and ALWAYS true

Susan, Susan, Wherefore art thou Susan???

2011-06-15T19:45:00.000-07:00

June 15, 2011

It’s been FIVE long days since my last post. And I have really missed writing.

4EverFab and I revised the fitness/weight loss challenge for week three which started on Friday and I can’t say that I have done any of what we are supposed to do.

Welcome to my life in an average working week. There is not enough time or energy for anything!

When I began this blog, and also the challenge, four of my managers were away on business for three delightful weeks. Work was a breeze and I came home to work out and write. But since they have all come back, it’s been back to the craziness. It is non-stop from 9 – 5pm then it’s homework, dinner and bedtime and back to the laptop to finish off some work….and then a workout??? A blog post???

I was able to squeeze in a work out on two of the last few days, but not the blogging, my brain was too fried!

Then I crash, and then I wake up the next morning and do it all again. I always have my laptop on standby on the subway incase I can do some writing during my commute, but I invariably fall asleep and wake up, luckily, right at my stop.

This is why I need out!

It takes way too much out of me, I get too tired and it makes me too miserable.

I was able to blog today, but it is 9:31pm, I didn’t get to work out and after I click on the “publish” button I am going straight to bed.

Having said all that (boring) there are

days left on my countdown of working days!!!

Does David Beckham represent a possible move to L.A.???

Why not? Why limit dreams???

Have a Great Night Folks!!!

I'm DONE!

Dreams do come true

2011-06-10T20:32:00.000-07:00

The Title of this cover is "Girls just wanna have Fun" - Very appropriate!!!

Thirty - Five Working Days to go

Did you guys see one of the last Oprah shows that was dedicated to “besties” (Best Friends)?

The Behind the Scenes show on OWN about that one was just the best show ever!

I loved when Gayle spoke the very words that we all were feeling. She said that the end of the Oprah show would be a big hole in her day. She explained that Oprah didn’t feel it the way she was feeling it, because Oprah never experienced the show as a viewer – but Gayle had watched every show. And it brought a lump to her throat to think that this was the last time she would be on the show. Oprah kept saying “it’s not such a big deal” but to Gayle it was!!! It was a HUGE deal!!!

And so it was to us, the audience, as well.

Watching the Behind the Scenes shows is sometimes bitter sweet. It’s fun to see all that goes into putting the show together and to see some of those shows again and what went on between takes and so on, but it is sad to do the countdown again, because this time, it really will be FINAL.

It is so funny to see Oprah so excited about it and everyone else so sad.

But I do understand the position Oprah found herself in….It’s kind of how I am feeling about my job right now. Just that no one knows it….yet!!!

Talking about my countdown, I noticed something interesting.

I have threatened to leave very often, a couple of times I even gave my notice.

I would get this clear inspiration that I simply HAD to leave. I would make my decision and announce my leaving….and suddenly everything in my Spirit would go quiet. No certainty that I was doing the right thing (no doubt either), no excitement about leaving (but no sadness either)…all around, just silence.

Then something ‘good’ would happen at work and I would quickly read it as a sign to stay on…and I would stay. But it would not be too long before the next urge to leave would come again and every time it comes back it has an ..."are you still here??" attached to it.

I am beginning to think this silent period is like a test period. I think the God or the Universe is testing me to see if I am truly going the take the action I decided on. Because He is there waiting to fulfill what comes next…but first I must take that step.

But again and again, I retreat and take back my decision. How then can He bless me?

Bible Quote: James 1

(vs 6) ...He that wavers is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed. (vs 7)For let not that man think that he shall receive any thing of the Lord. (vs 8) A double minded man is unstable in all his ways.

Deep!!!!

Well, it’s that silent test time again. I cannot hear anything in my Spirit, work has not been too terrible. I begin to hear the voices again “why don’t you stay? Is it really that bad? Can’t you still fulfill your destiny while staying on here? Does this job really interfere?

To these voices I say..."Silence!!!”

To the countdown I say “Keep counting”

To me I say “Choose Life”

I am certain beyond any doubt, that once the first step is made, everything else will make sense and align with the grand plan of my destiny (which I have eluded by not listening to my inner voice for the past few...but too many...years)

On this same “Besties” Oprah Show – Behind the Scenes, Oprah found out that she would be sleeping over at the Ralph Lauren Ranch in Telluride, Colorado. And she said “All dreams do come true..”

I will hold on to that one. All dreams do come true!!!

Life is Short, Love is Forever

2011-06-08T19:04:00.000-07:00

Please don’t waste a moment, don’t take anything for granted.

A smile, a hug, a visit, a helping hand, a quarrel, the make up afterwards,

It’s all part of this gift of life that we have been given

And no one but God alone knows what is in store for us

And hard as it may be

It is up to us to accept the challenge He throws us

And to go forward with praise on our lips

As we give ourselves in total Faith to the One who has made us

The Source of all that is, was and ever will be

And whatever the end…

Always there will be the one thing that ever will remain

There will be LOVE

Say to your loved ones NOW, today and every day – “I love you”

Forgive those who have offended you

Make peace with those that you have offended

Live for life, not for your paycheck

Enjoy your time with fullness of joy

For it is indeed a gift.

Play! Dance! Touch! Be Still and Listen!

There is LOVE.

My family was hit with a blow today when we found that my sister’s breast cancer has returned. She has been in remission for nine years. She will be undergoing surgery and chemo.

This is the hardest part about being an immigrant in another country. Your family is somewhere far away and there is nothing you can do but pray. But there is power in prayer. The Bible says that the prayer of the righteous man availeth much! Please join me. As we lift up my sister and other breast cancer sufferers and survivors everywhere.

This was yet another reminder to me of why it is of utmost importance that I take my life back

T-O-D-A-Y!!!

I want to make the most of my every waking day, to live fully and joyfully and filled with and surrounded by LOVE.

So here’s to number....

...Days to go!!!

Peace to you

Get your Gym on

2011-06-07T20:56:00.000-07:00

38 days to go.....next stop...London's Victoria Station!!

(New to our countdown - everyday, there will be an image of the bright future matching the number on the countdown. Enjoy!)

I think I apologize for my ranting and raving last night. I think I just felt a little despondent that things were not happening as quickly as I would like.

But in all honesty, things ARE happening. Ok, so I appear to have gained 2lbs, but look…I have completed a week and a half of our fitness challenge. I have gotten into working out again, I am conscious of what I eat, I drink enough water and I am blogging daily….yes, things are happening and even though my mood may change now and then, over all, I already feel much better than I did 2 weeks ago.

So the challenge continues and I am happy to report that today was an awesome day.

For my workout, my partner and I tried out a new gym. And I am so glad we did.

Although I use the gym at work, going to a “real” gym is a whole other experience. One I have not had in about 5 years.

I promise you, if you are looking for motivation, go to a gym. Just the air in there can get you inspired to work out as long as your body can take. Seeing all those machines and hearing the pumping music makes you want to do just that – pump. And then seeing the people – some like peacocks, strutting their stuff…flat abs, big shoulders, perfect gluts…others a little less impressive but working out with all the fervor of a work horse..and then those obvious beginners learning the ropes for the first time, battling to move their bodies in ways they either have never done before or have forgotten how to. Very enthusiastic trainers smile as they egg their clients on and in the studios, you might see folks having what seems to be a party as they Zumba their extra pounds to oblivion. It’s incredibly inspiring! Could be scary for some, but definitely inspiring for me.

So when we walked in, I knew immediately that I was fit and healthy….until I saw myself in the mirror… and after the initial shock, I remembered that I’d have a little way to go, but I could most certainly get there.

This was a big Aha! Moment kind of thing for me, because for the first time since we started this challenge I actually got a clear vision of my goal….the new me that I am aiming to become. I saw her clear as day; For a moment there on the treadmill, I felt like I was her. Then on the machines, when I saw my reflection, though my apparent reality hit me, I also realized that my vision is also a reality…it is the TRUE reality..the one inside me that just needs to be given the permission to spring forth.

When we have such moments, it is important to welcome the vision. Most times, we just want to say “oh..that’s the real me in the mirror…why am I fooling myself here? I am a slob…I am fat….it’s just the way it is...” and other such really 'polite and self loving' things.

No No No!!! Decide to see what you WANT to see…the vision…the truth…the goal…the finished product.

And this is Me:

YEEEHAAAAAH!!!!

OH YES!!!! I CAN!!!!

Mad as Hell...

2011-06-06T21:04:00.000-07:00

...and I am SO tired!

It has truly been ‘one of those days’.

It was my boss’s first day back in the office after an extended business trip so you can imagine that it was a little 'all over the place'. I am always just trying to keep up at work. I had to bring work home, but then couldn’t do the bulk of it because of a technical glitch which could not be fixed because that particular part of our help desk had closed for the day. So we know what awaits me tomorrow. While I was working on some other stuff, I got an email from the same boss, asking for something that I was supposed to have done weeks ago. There was no way to cover this up. I had to confess to him that I had not done it. He was very nice about it but too many of such incidents are not a very good look.

You know you have been in a place too long when you totally start losing your touch. Things just keep slipping through the cracks…I know I am busy, but still. I think I have just shut down part of my brain concerning this job…I just really don’t care enough about it anymore.

I am proud to say that I did do my work out today though. (at least that did not slip through the cracks J) I went down to the gym at my job in the morning and working out felt really good, BUT I also weighed myself, and I am so unhappy because I seem to have GAINED 2lbs. yes! GAINED!!! I thought I was at my heaviest in the earlier post with my ‘before’ photos, but now I am 176lbs….sigh!

I know, I know…you build muscle before you start losing the fat but still….deep sigh!!

Then there is the pain. Does anything look strange to you in this picture?

That’s right. My middle finger is slightly swollen. It’s been 3 weeks now. At first I thought it would wear off on it’s own…after all there’s always little things that come and go…but then it got worse and more swollen…my finger looked like a sausage. So I took some Aleve and it got better. There is no doubt that there is some inflammation going on here. I know I need to see a doctor for an official diagnosis, but from family history and my own research…it kind of sounds like some early signs of arthritis. Not good!

I remember when my mom had joint pain, I used to give her lectures about taking better care of herself, doing more exercise and eating a healthier diet….now I look in the mirror and hear the same lectures. That’s why you should never judge, you never know when you might find yourself in the same situation. And THEN and only then will you know what YOU would do. So cut out the “well if it were me....” statements.

Then I had a dinner ‘situation’ tonight…we were out of rice. So I jump into the car and go buy some before the store closed. And then I cooked the rice…if that’s want you want to call it. To me it was more like the proverbial “bowl full of mush” from the Good Night Moon book (any parents in the house???)

I was doing dishes while cooking and the drain began to get clogged. The thingy in the sink that protects the drain broke in my hand….AARGH! I’m mad as hell and I want a spacey kitchen that has a large counter and a sink that has a garbage disposal. I want a toilet that does not keep running if I don’t make sure I flush it ‘just right’.

I am mad as hell and I just want to go to bed when I am tired for a change and actually SLEEP through the night.

I am mad as hell and I need a vacation!!!!!!!!!!!

And by the way….there are just 39 working days left!

Attempted Failure

2011-06-05T15:32:00.000-07:00

Just back from the Bronx Zoo. Haven't done my official work out yet, but I wonder if I can't count the 2.5 hours of walking we just did at the Zoo. "We did not even get to see the snakes" my older son declares as we walk past a "snakes" sign on our way out. After some time I had simply stopped telling the kids what other animals there were to see, for fear that they might actually want to go see them. The only animal I was thinking of, was a stuffed one....my pillow!

Anyway, I wrote the post below while was at the laundromat this morning.

I am back at work tomorrow and by the way, we are down to 40 days!!!

You may be asking (as even I am) "are you sure?" "don't you want to rethink this?" "Change your mind?"

The answer is...I am SO ready for my next chapter. And it will NEVER happen as long as the old chapter is still open. So...No! I am not going to rethink this.

Wishing you all a great upcoming week!!!
Love, Peace and Blessings

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Earlier Today

Isn’t that just the way of things? You get all excited because you succeeded in starting something that you get carried away celebrating and end up not finishing it.

This is a very risky thing that sneaks up on you and happens VERY easily.

I am very upset that I missed TWO WHOLE DAYS of blogging.

This is how “failure” sneaks up on you.

On Friday, it was not a regular day. I had to leave work early to attend a meeting with C.C., my partner. We already had dinner plans with friends so we thought we’d throw in a movie and make it a whole day for just us. And I figured I would squeeze in my 30 minute work out somewhere in between.

Well, I barely got out of work in time to make it home to meet with C.C. and make it to our meeting on time. In fact we were late. But no problem, had a great meeting and then had some time to while away before dinner. So we thought we’d see the movie then….but with traffic and being a undecided about what we wanted to see and therefore where we'd have to go, when we finally got to the theatre..there wasn’t a single movie we could see that would get us to dinner on time. So we strolled back to the car and headed on to the restaurant for dinner.

At this point it was getting clear to me that I would probably NOT be squeezing in my work out tonight.

Dinner was a blast!!!! And the food was SOOOO good. I highly recommend the Dumont Restaurant in Williamsburg, Brooklyn.

There is a delightfully cozy garden bar and seating available in the back.

At this point, my “diet” is out the door.

I had the yummiest burger, with a salad (hey, I got my veggies in) and a delicious side of Mac and Cheese. But this Mac and Cheese is not JUST Mac and Cheese…just look at this excerpt from the menu

DuMac & Cheese, 15
bacon lardons, cheddar, gruyere, parmesan, radiatore pasta

The DuMont Burger, 14
fries or salad, Boston bibb, tomato & pickles(add cheese $1)
sharp white cheddar, American, Danish blue, gruyere
(add thick cut bacon $2)

Darlings!!!!….it was DEEEElicious!!!!

I should also mention that I had 1 Lemon-drop Martini.

Okay….so that was not all…..when we left the restaurant, we all dipped into a corner store and bought…yes, you guessed it …ICE CREAM!!

All this and it’s 11pm..oh my..where will all those calories settle?!?!

After dinner, C.C, and I felt surprisingly awake and thought we would still go for a movie afterall…so we bought tickets for a 12:40am show, but were not allowed into the theatre to sit and wait. So here we are standing in front of the theatre with a one hour wait ahead of us before we (most likely) sleep through a movie. After the first 10 minutes, we knew that we were fooling ourselves. We got our money back and headed home. Hey, I could still make it to write into my blog before midnight….NOT!

The kids were still awake and needed cleaning and settling, and once that was done…not only was it already the next day….but I was falling asleep standing up. Case Closed!

“I’ll make up for it on Saturday”…famous last words!

Saturday, I am happy to say I went for a jog while the kids were down for their afternoon nap, but after that there was an unexpected flurry of activity which ended at 11:55pm (seriously!) I got in the house and RAN to my laptop to quickly put in an entry for the day. But of course, with 2 minutes to go, I can’t figure out how to turn off a mouse lock that my son had somehow turned on when I was watching earlier in the day…I didn’t even know there was such a thing. So I run to my work laptop and believe it or not….for whatever technical reasons, I can’t log in!!! At 12: 15am, I find out what the mouse lock is and how to unlock it but it’s already ‘tomorrow’. Bummer! And we all know what happened next….zzzzzzzzzzzzz.

There is a lesson in all this:

Do I let this detract me from my goals for the week?

Do I give in to the distraction and give up on everything?

Do I say…hey I missed two days already…I am already out of the rhythm, why bother?

Do I get really mad at myself and then sink into a depression because of what a failure I am?

NO!!!!

Distractions WILL always come. Obstacles, Interruptions, Discouragements of all sorts….DON’T GIVE IN TO THEM!!!!

Keep your eye on the prize. Gently lead yourself back to your goals. I say gently because I know that I for one can be extremely hard on myself at times like this.

But don’t beat yourself up. Don’t nag! Just remind yourself of what it is you were working on, and get back on it.

So here I am getting my laundry done at 7am. And I plan to get my work out in today, before our trip to the Bronx zoo. I am back on track! J

Failure did NOT Succeed!! : -D

2011-06-02T20:03:00.000-07:00

41 "Susan at Work" Shows to go

The Challenge Continues...June 3 - 10, 2011

2011-06-02T19:48:00.000-07:00

So how did we all do with our fitness challenge last week?

FellowBlogger Friend, www.4everfab.wordpress.com, whom we will promote to “Challenge Coach” hence forth, spoke about what she learned from our first 7 day challenge in her blog last night. Brilliant!

And since we are doing this together, here’s what I have learned:

- I really really need to stick with it and get back in shape. I feel way too heavy to run and I have NO stamina what so ever. Believe me when I say I used to run MILES…now I cannot even run a ONE city block. When I went ‘running’ this week, it was actually a brisk walk. It felt good and I realized that I really miss running/walking, especially outdoors. It has been awesome, and I do not ever want to stop again. Rather, I want to work back up to running again.

- If I can’t do the work out I had planned…be ready and willing to improvise. Three times this week, I could not get to run, (handling kids, or it got too late, etc) I was VERY tempted to accept that excuse. But I didn’t!!! I turned on the dance music channel on the TV and just moved non-stop for 20 – 25 minutes. I incorporated, push ups, squats, jumping jacks, crunches, some kick boxing and any other moves that came to mind. So it became like an interval training kind of thing. The key was just not to ever stop moving till the time was up. It works up a really good sweat, I might add.

- It really does help to have a work out buddy! No matter how far away they may be. Just to know you have to report back to someone, and that you may be letting someone down is a great motivator

- In Oprah’s words, Set Your Intention. Be clear what you are trying to achieve each week and work towards it. This week I did not really set an intention, I just agreed to a challenge. But there was no real goal apart from just doing it. That was probably what I needed just to get started again, but going forward, I want to set a solid intention every week.

- As for the writing part of the challenge, here’s what I learned: I love it!!!

And whenever it gets hard, just get yourself that "spoon full of sugar" and make it FUN!

And now let’s get into the next Challenge – June 3^rd -10^th

1) Up the workout routine to 25 – 30 minutes of non-stop movement

2) As Lady Gaga’s Trainer suggested in my previous post: eat 4 -5 small meals a day instead of 3 big ones

3) Include at least 2 or 3 servings of Fruits and/or Veggies daily

4) Drink at least 6 cups of WATER per day

5) Write at least one blog post per day.

Think that’s too much??

Well, that's why we call it a

Let’s go do it and ENJOY!!!

On the subject of my escape from Corporate Entrapment...

2011-06-01T18:49:00.000-07:00

...here is a hilarious quote from Comedian Martha Kelly on preparing for office work:

It's been a couple of years since I actually worked in an office, so I thought I should do something to prepare to get back into the typing, filing and phone answering, and what not. So what I did was I had a friend of mine go with me down to the local swimming pool, and I had him tie me up in a burlap sack and sink me to the bottom of the pool. And then just as I was about to suffocate, he yanked me up and gave me a lunch break.

:-) SO TRUE!!!

And as for me...the count down is on! Today is June 1st that means 42 days left.

If you were counting down with Oprah, like I was...you should enjoy this too.

Never give up on YOU!!!

2011-06-01T18:07:00.000-07:00

"Never Give Up"

Yolanda Adams

Visions that can change the world trapped inside an ordinary girl
She looks just like me too afraid to dream out loud
And though it's simple your idea, it won't make sense to everybody
You need courage now If you're gonna persevere

To fulfill divine purpose, you gotta answer when you're called
So don't be afraid to face the world against all odds

[Chorus]
Keep the dream alive don't let it die
If something deep inside keeps inspiring you to try, don't stop
And never give up, don't ever give up on you
Don't give up

Every victory comes in time, work today to change tomorrow
It gets easier, who's to say that you can't fly
Every step you take you get, closer to your destination
You can feel it now, don't you know you're almost there?

To fulfill divine purpose, you gotta answer when you're called
So don't be afraid to face the world against all odds

[Chorus]
Keep the dream alive don't let it die
If something deep inside keeps inspiring you to try, don't stop
And never give up, don't ever give up on you

[Bridge:]
Who holds the pieces to complete the puzzle?
The answer that can solve a mystery
The key that can unlock your understanding
It's all inside of you, you have everything you need yeahhhh

Sooooo, keep the dream alive don't let it die
If something deep inside, keeps inspiring you to try don't stop
And never give up, don't ever give up on you

Sometimes life can place a stumbling block in your way
But you're gotta keep the faith, bring what's deep inside your heart yeah your
Heart to the light
And never give up Don't ever give up on you

Nooo don't give up,
No, no, no, no don't give up
Oh, no, no, no, no don't...give...up

I make a very cute pregnant woman...

2011-05-31T20:06:00.000-07:00

...except that I am NOT pregnant!!!

Today I rushed on to a crowded subway and stood in an empty corner. A very nice gentleman got up and offered me his seat. “Wow,” I thought to myself, “my hair must really be looking good today”

I demurely declined the seat asking if he was getting off soon, he said “no, but please sit down” I accepted, feeling really beautiful but only as I sat down did it occur to me that he thought I was pregnant. My sense of elation quickly waned.

This was actually the second time today and the third time in two days, that someone asked if I was pregnant. And that is not counting all the people that are probably thinking it anyway, but a just not saying it.

Okay…I really think it’s time to take action and take it seriously, cos this is getting ridiculous. It was cute right after my second baby was born. Even when he was one year old. Even a couple of months ago, I still found it funny. But now, I am no longer amused.

Mainly because I myself think I look pregnant…I am gaining instead of losing weight and I am not liking the look or feel of my body at all.

I am quite happy about the challenge we started last week, because it got the ball rolling. I have not missed a day, I am starting to enjoy working out again and I am almost ready for the next challenge.(did I really say that??)

To help you get a clearer picture of what I am talking about, here are some pictures… “before” pictures.

I am my largest right now at 174lbs and you can totally see where I am carrying it. It is hard to believe that I almost had a six pack some years ago, or that I trained for a Marathon.

Well I may be older now, and my body and it’s workings may have changed or slowed a bit, but by George!!…I am going to get back in shape again!!!

I am not talking about 100lbs skinny or rippling muscles or any of that stuff. I just mean a healthy, good feeling, comfortable state of physical being. (we’ll talk more about other health matters later, for now let’s stick with weight loss)

So here’s what I found on yahoo the other day:

Lady Gaga's Personal Trainer's Five Point Fitness Plan

Trainer Harley Pasternak started out as a Canadian hockey player and later became an exercise scientist for the Department of National Defense. While he was getting his PhD in exercise physiology, he cornered the market on training celebrities who were shooting in Toronto. Halle Berry asked him to come to California to get her in shape for "Catwoman," and his sabbatical turned into a fitness empire. Pasternaks client list includes Lady Gaga, Katy Perry, Jennifer Hudson, and Amanda Seyfried, as well as "Twilight's" Ashley Greene and Robert Pattinson. His specialty is effective, efficient regimens that can be done by busy people with little time or space, i.e. movie stars on location as well as busy new moms. I spoke to Harley about his top five tips for getting your best possible body.

1. Eat five meals a day. "You're never hungry. You're eating because it's time to eat, not because you have to eat. So you have more control over what you eat and how much you eat. From a metabolism perspective it's like a windmill. Small gusts of wind throughout the day keep the windmill constantly spinning. It's a more effective machine."

2. "Every meal takes five minutes of prep time. We looked at all the reasons people don't take their motivation into action. You don't need to be a gourmet chef. My recipes take five minutes to make. They're five ingredients or less and you dont have to starve yourself."

3. Every meal must contain five key ingredients. "Protein, fiber, healthy carbs, a healthy fat and a sugar-free beverage. For snacks we have three new flavors of 5 Factor snack bars now. I was frustrated after years of clients bringing me these meal bars. Id look at the nutritional profile and 'low carb' is really not, because its full of sugar alcohols, or high protein is really full of fats and sugar. We hit a home run with these bars."

4. Enjoy one free day each week guilt free. "Enough said."

5. Exercise five times a week for 25 minutes. "Short, intense workouts get results. You dont need the 'kitchen sink' approach where you spend all day at the gym, do tons of different exercises, and use all kinds of weird supplements. Try a simple, doable program that keeps changing and can be done anywhere. There's a big misconception that celebrities have better genetics or that money makes a difference when it comes to getting in great shape. The programs I give people in my books and online are the same as the ones people pay a lot of money for me to hold their hand and do."

The 5-Factor system, including recipes and a shopping list -- the "tool kit" for Harleys exercise and eating program -- can be found at http://5factor.com/

Hey, it sounds so simple! And we are already doing the 20 minute daily work out! Just up it to 25 minutes, eat healthy FIVE times a day and best of all, enjoy one guilt free day per week…that sounds like something we could implement this week.

And maybe a few more crunches…cos Lady Gaga’s abs are the BOMB!!!

Let’s get Loud!!!

2011-05-30T09:12:00.000-07:00

Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!

It’s a glorious wet morning after a storm on this awesome Memorial Day!

Was up before everyone and went out for my 20 minute brisk walk. It turned out to be 26 minutes.

The weather was perfect for it. And I got the perfect inspiration from the Radio Station I was listening to. They played Jennifer Lopez “Let’s get Loud”

Not only is that a perfect workout song, but it also is a perfect song for what this blog stands for. Just in case you had never really listened to the lyrics, here are some of the ones that stood out to me today:

If you wanna live your life
Live it all the way and don't you waste it Every feelin' every beat
Can be so very sweet you gotta taste it You gotta do it, you gotta do it your way
You gotta prove it
You gotta mean what you say

Life is meant to be big fun You're not hurtin' anyone
Nobody loses
Let the music make you free
Be what you wanna be
Make no excuses

Let’s get loud!!!!

It’s Memorial Day! Go out and have fun, but keep a moment to give a heartfelt thought

to our armed forces and all the families that have sacrificed so dearly for the love of country.

God Bless You!

A Spoon Full of Sugar

2011-05-29T12:25:00.000-07:00

I am on day 4 of my blog and day 3 of the workout challenge, and already I have had to re-read my blog post to re-motivate myself. Already I am ready to throw in the towel.

Woke up this morning ready to be the first person at the Nail Salon as planned. I went down to the kitchen to prepare breakfast for the kids, but once in the kitchen, all my motivation left me. I did not want to do anything. I shared the situation with a friend and she texted me back: “getting down is inevitable, getting up is mandatory! 1 workout, 1 post at a time.”

I got up and got to work making breakfast and rushed out the house to be the first person at the Salon.

After being pampered at the Nail Salon, I actually lost all motivation again. I just wanted to forget about everything I had committed to doing. I felt moody and glum.

But when I got home, I drowned out the voices, put on my sneakers and before I could change my mind, I went for a brisk 20 minute walk.

Nothing like a good endorphin release into the blood stream!!! I felt great! And I felt accomplished since I had done what I said I would do….but it did not take even 10 minutes of arriving home before the negativity kicked in again. “now I have to get inspired to write” I thought to myself, “I know I want to be honest with the readers, but nobody wants to read my whining stories of non-success”

Saddened, I stepped into the shower, and turned on the warm water.

Instantly I was in Heaven.

The shower has got to be THE best invention EVER!!!

I LOOOOVE taking a shower. The feel of the water running down my skin is so relaxing and joy inspiring, I could spend my entire day in there.

Then to lather up with a loofah and a yummy body wash is absolute BLISS and then the feeling of the lather being rinsed off by the running water…uh…words cannot express my delight!

Toweling myself dry in the bedroom, a familiar Mary Poppins tune came on the Stage and Screen music channel “a spoon full of sugar”. And there is the inspiration for my blog post today!!!

Sticking with it is HARD. Don’t let anyone try to tell you it is easy to get what you want. You need to work at it and it does not happen in a day. It takes time. And in all that time, you have to keep on keeping on. Keep on working at it. Keep on sticking to it in spite of your mood, the weather or any other great excuse you can come up with. The only way you can lose is if you quit.

But it IS hard and there will be days when your excuses will make all the sense in the world.

On those days, think of Mary Poppins “…a spoon full of sugar makes the medicine go down, in the most delightful way…”

My spoon full of sugar today was my shower. It made everything worth it and I felt awesome.

Your spoon full of sugar could be your favorite music on your MP3 as you work out, or wearing something you like, or doing something for yourself as a reward after you have accomplished your goal.

So now that my Medicine has gone down in a delightful way, I am off to Chuck E. Cheese for a kiddie birthday bash.

The List

2011-05-28T18:36:00.000-07:00

Oh I am so proud of me!!!

I stuck with my challenge. I did my 20 minutes workout and here is my post for today...I wrote FOUR pages!

I think I deserve a good night's sleep. Bon Nuit!

_________________________________________________________________________________

THE LIST

Ok, time to identify some things to work on in order to start “Living my Best Life”

I have come up with FOUR really huge items, so even though the number is small, it will be no small feat to implement them. They are arranged in the order in which I will implement them….not that each will be completed to perfection before the next starts.

Here we go:

1 - Commit! Commit to stick to it.

Whatever it takes to succeed at living my best life, No Matter What!!!

We have already talked about commitment a bit. But just to reiterate and borrowing from Lisa Nichols of The Secret movie fame, you must have a mind set of doing whatever it takes to get to where you want to be No Matter What!!! You need the No Matter What because there are sure to be countless obstacles and distractions along the way…but keep your eyes on the prize and get it No Matter What!!!

I have a “No Matter What” bracelet that I wear. It was from some other challenge I dropped out of earlier in the year, but it will serve a good purpose now as a reminder to myself that this is not a game. This is serious. I have children that will follow my example one day…and how awful if they were to follow the example of an unhappy, unhealthy loser???

I am breaking out of this self destructive cycle – No Matter What!!!!

2 – Feel good about myself

This is a very serious item. It has been a looooong time since I could with pleasure and conviction say that I feel good about myself.

A long time ago, I felt that there was so much I was going to do. I felt I had so much to give. I looked and felt good. I treated myself well.

That is not to say that under it all, there were no problems…I always had a touch of depression that I carried with me from childhood, but overall, I was in a good place mentally and emotionally.

Things have changed a lot. My life has become quite an unhealthy one. More junk food, more stress, more work, more demands, less exercise, less time for self, less treats, less sanity.

I feel and look frumpy. And because I feel this way…I don’t bother to make an effort to make it any different. It’s a Catch 22. My hair is usually a mess, I haven’t gone clothes shopping since I bought a dress to wear for the Oprah OWN talk show auditions (that was last June) and I sometimes wear my old maternity clothes because I have put on too much weight to fit into my pre-pregnancy clothes.

If anyone needed an Oprah Makeover…I do!

And even with all the work that I know I do well and the obligations that I meet without fail, I often feel like I am incompetent and unworthy.

Needless to say, these feelings begin to manifest in my life.

And even more needless to say….this has to stop!!!

I AM worthy at least of a trip to the hair and nail salon. I deserve to look halfway decent when I go to work. My son should not have to be embarrassed when his mom comes to pick him up from school – luckily he is still too young to notice. Phew! My life partner should not have to look past what I have become to still feel attracted to me – For some odd reason, even though he is in full support of me losing weight and getting more healthy…he still seems to love me and enjoy my company. Phew…Thank God!

So here are some actions I am taking in order to begin feeling a little better about myself:

A. As you already know, I have teamed up with my good friend to work on and stick to a weight loss plan that will include healthy eating habits, food journaling and a consistent work out regiment – Nothing boosts your self esteem like a good work out.

B. I am right now, typing this post under the hair dryer. Yes, I went to the Hair Salon and am getting my hair relaxed, cut and styled (that is a whole other topic that we can address at a later time). Tomorrow I will be the first person in the Nail Salon to get a manicure and pedicure – whew…much needed. So the point of number 2 is I am going to take the time and make the effort to ‘spruce up’ myself. I deserve that.

C. Give Thanks With a Grateful Heart! Remember the gratitude journal? Every day I will count my blessings. Even when I am in a hurry, rushing down the street or in a stressful situation at work, I will find something to give thanks for.

D. I will stop being mean to and hard on myself. Negative self chatter must no longer be internalized. When the voices come, Shut them up!!! Turn from them!!! “get thee behind me”!!! or simply respond to them with Praise!!!

I am certain that this will somehow feed into the next one…

3 – Be a PRESENT mother

And by that I don’t mean, being an over possessive, don’t-give-the-kids-a-chance-to-breathe mom. But I mean to actually BE in the moment when I am with my children. To be PRESENT with them. To LISTEN to them in the here and now, and to LOVE them in word, thought and action.

A look back at a recent Oprah show in which Toni Morrison spoke about a time when she gave her young son a half hearted response to a drawing he’d shown her. Even though her words said it was a nice drawing, her being was not in it. He sensed that, interpreted it as her not approving of his drawing, and promptly tore it up.

The awesome (in my humble opinion) Ms. Morrison also said that you should light up when your child enters the room.

Here’s my truth: I pick up my older son from school on my way home from work. I was rushing to get there on time, so I am just relieved that I made it. I make every effort to be appropriately polite to the teacher and I rush my son home, thinking all the way of what still needs to be accomplished before the day is done. I get home and my younger son and my partner welcome me. I barely get a smile out as I see the older one wearing his shoes on the rug as he runs to the bathroom or the younger one spilling his juice in his excitement. Yes, I feign excitement. Of course I AM happy to see them and I love them dearly….but I am not HERE!!!

At weekends I try my best to do fun things and expose them to all the wonders of the world around them, but my mind is already back at the office or in some other fretful curve ball life has thrown my way.

I make sure they learn a lot, I make sure they go to a good school, I make sure they are clean and healthy, but just about every night, I am over come with guilt, because I feel like I wasn’t there in the moment they needed me.

I remember another Oprah guest: Michael J. Fox saying that Parkinson’s disease had made him appreciate his family so much more. He said there is never a TV show or situation more important than one of his kids coming to him about anything.

Every time I say “just a minute…” to my kids as I am watching TV, I think of that.

So this is a big one for me – to be a PRESENT mom.

4 – Break out of the Corporate Trap!!!

It was hard to decide if this step should have come first. So many of my problems have their root in my job. But I think it is right to be the last step on my this my first list, because all the other items I can start right away, but leaving my job is something that takes a little planning and some notice.

I work in a Fortune 500 company and though it is listed as one of the best companies to work for and one of the very best for moms…and this is actually true…but it still lends to insensitive corporate culture and to the ultimate importance of the bottom line.

A company where it once felt like everyone was family now has everyone on high alert wondering if today it will be their turn to be sent home. No longer are people committed to the well-being of the company and the customers, everyone’s attitude has been reduced to “ I just work here””hey, I’m just happy I have a job”

That is life???

This is what we get up every morning for???

I see it as cold blooded murder!

Killing peoples’ spirits! A little more every day! And we are so desperate for the paycheck, we accept it!

Well, my Spirit is on the verge of death. Not only am I in a J-O-B that does not appreciate me, but I haven’t a lick of passion for what I do or whom I do it for.

It was not my plan to stay too long, but after my children were born, felt I had to stay put for security reasons. But what security???

As Oprah so rightly reminded us in her farewell show – it’s all about the passion. Not talking about being rich. Not talking about being famous, but talking about plain old “joie de vivre”

The joy of living!

Do we even remember what that is? Or how it feels?

They say when you love what you do, you never work a day in your life.

I have worked enough! Now I want passion!!!

And the first step, against all odds and against all conventional wisdom in this economy, is to just quit.

Latest date to give my notice is July 31^st, 2011.

I have threatened to do it so often, no one even takes me seriously anymore. It’s just like Oprah ending the show. And this time it was real….and this time for me…it will be real!

Commitment

2011-05-27T16:23:00.000-07:00

May 27, 2011 - Morning

Let’s talk about that dreaded 'C' word.

I am without a doubt to some degree a commitment-phobe.

Not necessarily in relationships though, because in that area, I am the exact opposite. I stick in relationships I shouldn’t be in, I take whatever abuse is meted out, I stay in jobs that drain instead of build me, but hey…that’s commitment! And you can always count on Susan!!!

But now...

Tell me I need to wake up early to go jogging...

Tell me I need to write at least 3 pages everyday...

Tell me I need to give up certain foods..even in the interest of my health,

Tell me I need to commit to being in a certain place at a certain time regularly (and I am not talking about going to work, or watching my favorite TV show)...

… suddenly I am out!

Before I even begin, I am convinced that I can’t!

And so even without trying….I just don’t!

Sometimes I do start, but with the first sign of doubt or discouragement, I give up.

This is a danger especially common with blogging…now just on my third day.

Last night I settled down to write a blog post when my young son, Seabass interfered.

I lay down next to him to encourage him to sleep and lo and behold – I fell asleep myself!!!

I woke up at 2:30am, tucked him in and went to bed.

I was angry. I missed a blog day! and at once the voices in my head began to put in their two cents…

“you can always miss a day…”

“it’s not like anyone would even notice…”

“no one is even reading your blog yet…”

“I told you this blogging thing is not a good idea…it’s too hard….too this…too that…”

And so on and so forth…

Now if you hear these voices on one day and you still continue inspite of them on the next, good for you!

But my story in the past has been that on day 2, 3, 4 and on thereafter, I myself am repeating what the voices said and soon enough I am closing the account and I lament “I knew this couldn’t work!”

Ok, but this is a different blog.

This blog is a journey. A journey I must take if I wish to thrive.

I wish to thrive!

And so I here again, make a commitment to this blog.

And I am declaring my victory over commitment-phobia!

If I know I am not going to do it – I won’t even say ‘Maybe’ – I’ll say No!

And if I say I am going to do it – by George (whoever he may be)!!! I AM going to do it!!!

My post last night was going to be about putting together the list to work through.

Well I think it is appropriate that circumstances have made it such that I am addressing commitment today, because without it…I will not make it down that list.

So I think it is only right that the first thing on my list is this…

Commit!...and Stick with it!!!!!

May 27, 2011 – Evening

So a lot has happened today.

A good friend of mine who also has started a very motivational blog called today and we got talking about the commitment issue. Commitment to our writing, and commitment to our weight loss and exercise.

So we have come up with a plan to help each other out.

The tried and true method of TEAMWORK!!!!

Having work out or writing buddy means you have more than just those crazy voices in your head to be accountable to. And it works!!!! Remember Oprah and Bob Greene??

Here is our challenge for this week, a good way to get started:

- Write every day for the next seven days. A whole lot or just a page, a line, a paragraph, even a word….as long as you are writing each day.

- Do at least 20 minutes of movement everyday for seven days. Running, walking, pushups, weights, swimming…whatever…just make sure you are moving for at least 20 minutes straight.

My Goodness!, that is the easiest challenge in the world!!!

It is not going to produce a best-selling novel or chiseled abs, but it is a commitment to the beginning of sticking with it.

Our journey officially begins! Feel free to join in!!!

Wow! The last show!

2011-05-25T19:45:00.000-07:00

I truly thought I would be bawling through the whole show. But I wasn't.
Instead I was listening attentively to every word. (as much as the kids would allow)
It was a wonderful, honest and all encompassing finale that totally did the show and everyone associated with it, justice and proud!!!

I will need to re-watch it a time or more to be able to talk more on all that was addressed.

But just for starters....It was an awesome farewell!

I just cant believe I'll have nothing to rush home from work for now. (family not included of course)

And then I watched the season finale of American Idol. Congrats Scottie. I voted about 20 times last night.

Now I really will have nothing to watch.

Hey, that means more time to do what I am supposed to be doing.....figuring out my passion and being about the business of living it as Oprah said today. :-)

Good Night for now

The Oprah Winfrey Show Finale - Wednesday May 25, 2011

2011-05-25T12:47:00.000-07:00

Wednesday May 25, 2011

This is dedicated to all the Oprah Show ‘ultimate viewers’ who like me, never got to be on the show, never got to take a trip with Oprah, never got a favorite thing or a surprise under our seats, never got to meet or even see Oprah in person.

To a great extent, I blame myself. Who’s to say that I might not have been on the show??

I never wrote in, never bought a ticket to Chicago, never sent an email about myself or what affects the show had on me. I will always regret that. I could give a myriad of reasons why and they would all be excuses.

I never wrote in because I thought there were so many people more needy than me, with better stories than me. I thought that there would be sooooo many other letters and that they probably don’t read all of them and mine would certainly go unread. Such would be my luck.

I had written letters to people I admired before and never got a response. This usually left me feeling childishly foolish, and I was not convinced that this would be any different.

But now, that we approach the final hour of the Oprah Winfrey show, I regret not writing.

I have been moved, touched and inspired by so much of the show over the years. Watching the show always made me feel that my life could be that much better. I was inspired to dream and to believe the dreams could come true. But I was missing one ingredient…action!!

I never took action!

And so, the dreams have remained dreams and the dream of actually being on the Oprah Show is gone now…for good.

In the two day farewell show at the Chicago United Center, there were highlights of people who had been inspired to take action to make a change. And they did!

And with all the great ideas I have had to make changes and to help others in need, I have done nothing!

What was I waiting for?

What more inspiration was I hoping to get?

Instead, as years have gone by, I have sunk deeper into misery and dissatisfaction and these ‘buddies’ of mine take ever more of my energy and attention for themselves and leave less and less for my community, my family or even myself.

And every day I would try to get a little refill from the Oprah Show. I would wipe away the tears that would trickle down my cheeks as I admired others succeeding at doing something while I was still just watching.

Enough!

No more!

The ultimate tribute to Oprah and the 25 years she dedicated to the show and to her audience would be to live what she taught. After all, just because the show is no longer on the air, doesn’t mean that all we have learnt is no more valid.

So here and now I do declare: that I will make a change NOW. A change in myself, in my life, in my community, in the world. Now!

I will start small (since I usually overwhelm myself out of doing anything), I will make a list and I will work my way down the list. And I will not stop.

As sad as I am that the show is going off the air, I think that the after effects of the show are yet to be felt. The show was like a seed in my life. As long as it was on, it was nice to have around and look at but only now that it is “dying”, it is being planted and it can sprout and grow into its fullest manifestation.

It is an end.

But it is a beginning.

I thank Oprah.

And I welcome anyone who would like to join me on the journey that will begin today when the lights in the Studio of the Oprah Winfrey Show in Chicago, Illinois go out for the last time.

Excuse me while I go cry a little J